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It may be my age, but I cannot stand this heat. It’s as hot as I can remember. Did I say this last year? Seriously, the dog days are yet to arrive, and we are supposed to hit, as of this writing, 104 degrees this week!
I heard the heat index was supposed to be around 127 degrees or something like that. Of course, we have air conditioning issues in all three cars and the riding mower is on the fritz. The house A/C is brand new, but has trouble keeping up with the Satan breath that knocks on the door every afternoon.
As someone who was raised in the heat, I have a few pro tips to share. One is to spend an extra few minutes in the cold storage section when shopping at Costco. Another is to stay cool with a Ziploc bag of ice in your pants. Steer clear of overtly amorous women unless, of course, they are related to someone who owns a gas station. Switch to cold brew coffee. Shave … regularly. And for the love of Pete, stay away from that outdoor barbecue grill.
Grilling season for me is something that begins around football season and ends just past Easter. There are exceptions I make, one being that steak doesn’t need to heat up the kitchen, but I don’t sit around the grill drinking beer and telling jokes with friends in the summer like I do in winter. The door is opened for no longer than three seconds. I dash out to fire up the gas with the piezo starter and hustle back in. I stare out the window, running with the beef at just the right time, returning to the cool comfort of the house. For retrieval, I hit the back porch as if I am dismantling a time bomb at the last second, and return with the (likely) rare ribeyes, probably forgetting to turn off the propane in my haste.
Charcoal? Not right now, honey. That’ll be in November.
My first of what I hope to be many summer gifts was from my friend Tim Barnhill, a farmer of good repute. This week I was treated to pounds of green beans and even greener cucumbers. It is no coincidence that cucumbers are summer veggies. They are the perfect cool-down food, and I intend to take advantage of every last one.
It’s a creeping vine plant with spiraling tendrils that works well on a trellis or on the ground. They say a cucumber is 95 percent water, which I guess makes it only 5 percent cucumber. Whatever, it’s 100 percent delicious.
I’m always looking for ideas for this versatile cylindrical fruit that’s often used as a vegetable the same as tomatoes and squash. The most recent use I found for it was while enjoying last week’s brunch at Red or White. Chef Arwen Rice was pairing the meal with a wide range of rosés and a few other grapes. The first thing I had was a small cup of sliced cucumber mixed with chunky cantaloupe and feta cheese. With all of the wonderful dishes scattered about the building between tasting stations of wine purveyors, this is the one chatted about the most. “Did you try the cucumber-canteloupe?” “Yes, ma’am. I think I’m on number four.”
I’m sure she did more than just toss them into a cup, but I’d dare not share the recipe without her permission. I’ll try and sweet-talk her into spilling all the details. You could use watermelon in place of the cantaloupe, and though the color would be better, I was very happy with Sunday’s offering.
I love the cucumber-tomato salad at Callaghan’s. You can do something similar with the right tomatoes and red onions with cheap Italian dressing, but go a step further to make this cool salad cooler. Drained canned chickpeas bulk this one up, and olives add a tanginess. I’m a green olive fan normally, but some really good kalamatas, pitted, of course, will probably be your best choice. You can make this a one-dish meal by adding cooked shrimp. As usual, feta cheese, the cucumber’s best friend, would never be a bad addition.
Making a “salad” of this nature your own is simple. Mint could drastically change the profile. Dill would take it in the opposite direction. Alter the texture by adding roasted nuts like cashews or pistachios. This could easily end up the way of a side dish, dip or sandwich topping. Go wild.
Tzatziki, an impossible word to pronounce in the 1980s, is now as common as hummus. You love it on chicken shawarma, gyros and such, but it’s basically a Greek condiment made from cucumbers, Greek yogurt, dill and lemon juice. It can be a salad dressing of sorts or a spread for cold sandwiches. I love it on ground turkey burgers with thinly sliced raw cucumbers cut with a vegetable peeler. Remember, the idea is cold, but you could still toast the bun if your air conditioner is rocking.
I have not even mentioned pickling. Cucumbers are second only to pickled onions in that world. If I’m doing cukes, I’m doing onions with them. The only time I prefer a sweeter bread and butter pickle is if there is some spice involved, but good news — peppers are coming in at this time of year, too. Although I love Vidalia onions and their short season, I pickle white onions to alleviate any extra sweetness.
The practical cucumber can and should be used in place of chips with softer dips. It appears in gin drinks. California rolls wouldn’t be the same without them, traditionally or in deconstructed sushi. I say they are a must for Vietnamese spring rolls. Peeled, they are a great addition to gazpacho. We honor the almighty tomato sandwich, but the cucumber sandwich has its own following.
Mentally, I have already eaten every one of these cucumbers. Now, what to do with all of these green beans?
Be cool.
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